GOD IS MY PROVIDER (Yahweh Yireh) OF ALL THINGS.

GOD IS MY PROVIDER (Yahweh Yireh) OF ALL THINGS.

(Genesis 22:14 - So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided. ”)

I have been reading the book authored by Max Lucado called “Fearless”.  I never dreamed it would turn into a book that would lead me through my daily devotionals in such a personal way.   Today’s chapter is titled “Make Believe Money” and my personal take away has been a reminder that God is the provider of absolutely all things in my life.

The following sentences make up a summary of my own notes and prayers that came out of this morning’s study.  Please disregard grammatical errors and incomplete sentences if they exist as these are notes and thoughts that came to me as I read and pondered.   Also, the words in a contrasting color in the middle of scripture are where I inserted comments that brought application to me to a personal level.

Psalm 104:27-28

²⁷ All creatures (made by God) look to you (God)
    to give them (me) their food at the proper time.
²⁸ When you (God)  give it to them, (all creatures, of which I am one)
    they gather it up;
when you (God) open your hand,
    they (which includes me, myself and I) are satisfied with good things.

This led me to ponder on some of the things that I am satisfied and blessed with in my life.

My Savior

My Family

My Home

My friends

And soon I will be blessed with a new job. 

I can ponder for hours on why I am blessed and satisfied with each of the points above.  It is overwhelming to sit and ponder on the goodness of God my Provider. 

With all the goodness of God I wonder why fear enters.  The most fearful thought that invades my peace right now is when I dwell on the negatives of my jobless state.  Today I am reminded that God will provide a new job at the “proper time” (vs 27) and when he does “open His hand” I will be more than “satisfied with good things”.  (vs 28).  In the meantime, scripture tells me not to forget the blessing that I still have and that God is the source of them.

Hosea 13:6

⁶ When I fed them, they were satisfied;
    when they were satisfied, they became proud;
    then they forgot me.

Lord, I repent of forgetting you.  Let my thoughts, words and actions be pleasing to you.   I pray that I will always be aware of your presence in me and my fellow believers.  I also pray that the hearts of those who do not know you yet will be drawn to you through contact with your saints.

IT ALL BELONGS TO GOD. It always has, always will.

No matter what we have or don’t have, it all belongs to God.

Deuteronomy 10:14

⁴ To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it.

1 Chronicles  29:11

¹¹ Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power
    and the glory and the majesty and the splendor,
    for everything in heaven and earth is yours.
Yours, Lord, is the kingdom;
    you are exalted as head over all.

Haggai 2:8

⁸ ‘The silver is mine and the gold is mine,’ declares the Lord Almighty.

What I have is more than sufficient.  I am richer than probably 95% of the world’s population.  The realization of this fact, lead me to this exhortation:

Psalm 49:16-20

16 Do not be overawed when others grow rich,
    when the splendor of their houses increases;
17 for they will take nothing with them when they die,
    their splendor will not descend with them.
18 Though while they live they count themselves blessed—
    and people praise you when you prosper—
19 they will join those who have gone before them,
    who will never again see the light of life.

20 People who have wealth but lack understanding
    are like the beasts that perish.

Lord, I pray for understanding so that I will live according to your desires and not my own.  I pray that I never take you , my family, my friends or my processions for granted.  I pray that I always remember that you are the source of everything good in my life. 

The Lord provides everything that I need and so very much more.  I can take credit for none of it.  I finish today with a direct quote from the ending of Chapter 9 of “Fearless” by Max Lucado.

“God owns everything and gives us all things to enjoy.  He is a good shepherd to us, his little flock.  Trust Him not stuff.  Move from the fear of scarcity to comfort of provision.  Less hoarding, more sharing. “Do good…be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share.”

              And, most of all, replace fear of the coming winter with faith in the living God.   After all, it’s just Monopoly money.  It all goes back in the box when the game is over.

These thoughts that I have expressed are my own personal take away from this chapter.  They go along with the author’s thoughts most of the time but God sent me down a rabbit trail or two as well.

I pray for God’s blessings to all who stop by to read.

Year of Change Update

So, how is my year of change going?  I would say rather quickly in some aspects and very slow in others.  I say quickly because it has already been over three months since my job ended and I still don't have a new position.  Of course I just now started to seriously search for one so I can't complain about that.  I have been enjoying time with with the g-kids doing summer time things.

It is going slowly in the weight loss department, once again that is on me as well.  I am just now getting a hold on my eating habits and have started losing weight.  I joined a gym as well and I am surprised to discover that I kind of like it.  I work out with a trainer once a week and do cardio an additional five days a week.  So I am at the gym every day except Sunday.  So hopefully the weight will start coming off a little better.

I also had surgery on my left foot in April and am still in the recovery process for that as well.  Went to the doc yesterday and he said that everything is progressing normally.  I will be going back to physical therapy because the scar tissue needs to be broken up which entails manipulating the tissue using a high amount of pressure and I can't do that to myself.  It is painful.  I know that this is minor compared to what other people go through for surgeries and injuries but I will freely admit that I am a wimp.  I will go through this stage without complaining.  It will pass.

I have one more hurdle to get through though and this one is more a matter of the soul.   I am searching for a new church.  Not because I am unhappy with the one I currently attend but because my heart is being lead in a different ministry direction which means that I must move on.  I need to actively start that search as well and stop Internet surfing and actually start visiting.  I get so timid when I have to go do something by myself for the first time. (I wouldn't have gone into the gym for the first time without my sister taking me with her).

Overall life is good.  I just have to stop procrastinating and move forward in a more focused manner

God's Blessings to everyone who stops by to read.

Missing friends...

It has been an incredibly sad year for me so far. Thursday we will celebrate the life of Lesa Latham Godsey who fought a long and difficult fight against cancer; and I will I have had to say goodbye to my third friend this year as they relocate to their permanent home in the presence of our awesome God. Although I rejoice for them I feel their absence.

2012-The Year of Change....Progress?

Weight loss appears to be going well in spite of the fact that I constantly sabotage myself. It is very humbling to realize there is no such thing as will power. I know that I personally have absolutly none. The only way I am going to be successful in my quest for a healthier me is to constantly be reminded that God is the only one in control. By myself I'm just a glutton.  Hard lesson indeed but acknowledging this and embracing this truth has given me great peace. I sure was tired of trying to do it on my own.  Oh yeah, lets not forget the good news...the scale tells me I'm ten pounds lighter than I was just one month ago.

On to the second phase of a healtier me. I found out why my foot has been hurting so bad for the last year. I have plantars faciitis. So far I have had a cortizone injection and have been signed up for six weeks of physical therapy. I'm trying to be a patient patient.

2012 - THE YEAR OF CHANGE-Thursday, Dec 29 2011

Re-learning to cook real food for one instead of just heat & eat takes some thought.

2012 - THE YEAR OF CHANGE-Monday, Dec 26 2011

Got on the bathroom scales and almost had a stroke. Rejoined Weight Watchers that evening.

2012 - THE YEAR OF CHANGE

I am not making any "New Years Resolutions" this year; I seldom do anyway. I do however have many opportunities to make significant changes in my life. I have two challenges / opportunities that I already know are on my plate. They are listed below in order of long range importance.

1. Take care of my health. This will include weight loss because I am now having multiple health issues because of it and I would like to be around to see my Great-Grandchildren born, God willing. I would also would love to be able to go for a walk in the woods without pain. That would be awesome in itself.
2. Acquire new employment. A necessity not only to be able to stay financially stable but I also need that thing called health insurance to accomplish number 1.

I have found that I really don't journal or blog very well but I am going to try to share a bit about my year because I need all the support I can get from my friends. These goals are both very achievable and although they may not be easy at times I look forward to the journey and choose to be excited to begin.

Going through the motions......

With all of the recent news and activity that has been going on in our family; weddings, birthdays, a new precious grandson on the way, you would think that my mind would be on track and my heart would be secure. Unfortunately that has been the farthest thing from the truth in my mind for several months now.

I thought that when I found out my exit date from the company that I would be able to start making plans about who I wanted to be or what I wanted to do when I grew up. Instead I seem to be stuck in neutral. I have had to begin taking medication for depression and anxiety added to the have high blood pressure and acid reflux. Combining my vitamins and Rx drugs together I take 9 pills in the morning when I wake up and almost the same amount before I go to bed. I feel a lot older than I should. I also need to lose weight which would be a great help in correcting all of the above.

The issues I listed about are just my physical state. Spiritually I have been walking around in a dry land. Last night I was at church for a time of worship, prayer and communion, During my personal prayer time I became acutely aware of scriptures that where running through my head and where directed straight to my spirit. "Be Still" , "I have plans for you", "I'm right here, I'm not leaving you.", "Be Still", "You are my daughter", "I care for you" , "I know what you need and I will provide".

So, as I start today with these assurances held close to my heart; I will move forward with the intention of being fully engaged in the world around me; because even though I don't know what or where it is right now.....the is a place for me because my heavenly Father said so. Not that this is a magical formula and all my woes have disappeared but I have been reminded that God my Father hasn't disappeared either.

Blessing to all!

Well, now I know.

So now I know when my CIBA ride will end. My official last day at work will be March 30, 2012. Now I have to figure out if I really want to ride it out or start my job search and perhaps jump ship.

All in a week

Wow what a week. So many emotions have played through my heart and my head that I feel a bit drained.

Although somewhat expected on my part at least, we found out what a company acquisition and subsequent merger would mean to us, the worker bees. My 16 year ride is now winding down and coming to an end. It has been a good ride. We still don't know the exact when. So now I face the uncertain future with a mixture of excitement and fear.

I know I will land on my feet. I trust the Word of the Living God when he promises that he will NEVER leave or forsake me. He has proved that to me over and over through the years. I am not about to start doubting that fact now. It is my assurance that I don't have to be the one in control. In fact my life turns out a whole lot better when I listen and obey.

So even though this is not going to be easy I will move forward and with much prayer and supplication I will get past it and on to the next season.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

My Grazing Issues

Why do I eat so well at work and not at home, besides that fact that I pack my lunch? Most days I am perfectly fine at work and not tempted to sneak snacks that are lying around. I don’t go to the coffee shop and normally the vending machines do not call my name. But when I get home? That’s a different story.

I would say that three nights out of seven I graze from the time I walk in the front door until I turn out the light at bedtime. The only good thing about this right now is that I joined Weight Watchers seven weeks ago so there in nothing in my house that is “unhealthy”. So far I have lost 10 pounds; which is great. I am not knocking the weight loss at all. I am very happy about it. I just know in my heart of hearts it could be more if I could just get this grazing issue under control.

It really doesn’t matter if everything you eat is healthy if you eat two days worth of groceries in a four hour period. Yes, I am exaggerating a bit. It is a problem. I need to find a distraction....a distraction that doesn’t cost any money cause on top of the weight issues I also have to deal with money issues. My issue with money is that I don’t have enough of it and what I do have I don’t always manage very well. No I am not whining...and I don’t feel sorry for myself. I am just trying to puzzle out what I am going to do about it.

Pet Peeve-Fowarded E-Mails

Why is it that people feel the need to forward so many e-mail that warn us of a never ending supply of topics ranging anywhere from supposed poisonings to an embarrassing faux pas by a political figure. In my experience it appears that if “they” see it in an e-mail then it must be true and without any more thought or investigation into the matter they hit the forward button and send it to everyone in their address book.

One of the most recent e-mails I received that fits into this “pet peeve” category pictures President Obama removing his shoes with a caption that indicates he was having a Muslim prayer meeting at the White House. Upon further investigation (which only took a few extra keystrokes on the keyboard) I discovered that the picture had been taken on Obama’s recent trip to Turkey (not inside the White House). He was visiting a mosque where it is required that everyone (even the President of the United States) remove their shoes before entering. This is not a political or religious statement on his part. If he and his wife had been entering a Catholic cathedral in Italy, more than likely Mrs. Obama would have had her head covered. If they had been entering a Jewish synagogue then the President would have had a yamaka on. My question is how many people would have believed this article had it appeared on the cover of one of the grocery store tabloid newspapers. I know some who would; but common sense tells the majority of the population to question the article and go to other sources for verification.

Now those of you who know me well know that I am not a fan of Obama; and if that statement bothers you please note that I was also not a fan of McCain. This post is not intended to be a debate of Democrat vs Republican. The point of this post is to try to raise awareness that “truth” is a lot more important in order to enable us to make wise and intelligent decisions and just to act like we have a brain at all. It is such a simple thing to take a few moments to verify the validity of information before spreading what in essence is just a rumor and in some cases malicious misinformation.

There are several ways to do this. The easiest to me is to enter the subject line of the email into any internet search engine followed by “Is this true” hit go. If you have never done this before you will be surprised with the results that appear. There are two websites that I use as well www.snopes.com and www.truthorfiction.com. I have found both to give good information. All I am asking is that you investigate first; and then if you still feel the need to share, then by all means go ahead and hit that forward button.

So now I will climb down off of my soapbox.

An Observation of My Behavior in Relation to Other Humans

I am a chameleon or a least this must be close to what it feels like to be one. But do I really have to blend into my environment? Is it essential for my basic survival? No. My kid’s generation calls it being a “poser”. I think mine may use the word “hypocrite”.

So why do I change how I present myself from one place to the next? All of these personas are a part of who I am. I show one part to one set of individuals and I let someone else see another facet. Why? I firmly believe that it is because the people around me are as imperfect as I am. I do not think that they would know what to do with me if I truly “let my hair down” and invited them into the innermost regions of my mind. If they truly knew what I was thinking they would be amazed or possibly horrified. I can be pretty unconventional while at times I am very traditional.

My church acquaintances do it too. I have caught many of them in the act. My work colleagues do it because they have to protect their livelihood. You can’t show your employer who you really are. I even change from one group of friends to another depending on the personality of the group. Why? I truly believe it is because we are all so imperfect that we can not trust others with who we are. Unconditional acceptance is an impossible task for us mere mortals.

I also challenge those individuals who say “I am who I am. I am the same to all I encounter.” I have also caught you in the act of being a chameleon as well.

Any time I have tried to talk to someone, anyone about this sort of thing I get similar reactions. No one wants to admit these types of thoughts are common to all of us. We are all afraid at some level to let people in. We find it necessary to create boundaries of acceptable intimacy with various groups. We have to protect our privacy. I find it all very tiring. I truly would love to find someone / anyone who I can just be me with.

While all this sounds a bit depressing when reading back over it, I am not a depressed person. I just wanna be me…..and so I circle back to my original observations.

Getting Reacquainted

There is a lot to be said in favor of the current craze in the on-line social networking sites. One in particular has helped me re-connect with many friends from years gone by. What is amazing to me is that we are actually getting reacquainted and building new memories together and not just re-hashing old ones. The fact that we still have things in common with each other after all this time is another fact that surprises me. There have been a few instances where the friendship just doesn’t work like it used to but all in all I have had many more successful reunions.

Another individual I have been getting reacquainted with is my ex-husband of almost 23 years. He refuses to call me his ex-wife. He introduces me as the mother of his children. This journey is very strange. Strange in a good way though. We have talked through many of our past issues and agreed to leave other buried in the past. We were both very young and dumb and there are just certain things that we really should just leave alone. We are in the process of trying to figure out what is important individually and to each other. We have yet to decide where this is going and I for one have decided not to analyze it too much. If nothing else we are hoping to be good friends.

We have also had to try to manage the expectations of our now adult children. We have made it a point to let them know that we are spending time together. Their reactions have been fun to watch. One told me that the only important thing was that I was happy and doing what I wanted to do. Another finally admitted to the secret dream that the parents would one day reunited. Then there is the one that can’t seem to stop grinning from ear to ear whenever the subject comes up in our conversations.

The strangest part is that we are still the same people. The same attractions are still there but at the same time we are very different. We are keeping and revisiting the good memories and guarding ourselves from the not so good ones while we also begin the process of trying to create new memories. We shall see. Fantasies do become reality on occasion.

Just stuff & random thoughts I have had about my big brother.

Kenneth Lee Spencer
9/8/54 - 01/30/10

I miss you bro.

Before we had younger siblings we shared a bedroom.

I used to go play on the playground during his little league baseball games.

He used to tickle me till I screamed.

We used to walk to elementary school together.

He carried me around the neighborhood on his shoulders when he and his friends snuck out of the house to go pick muscadines in the neighbors yards.

He carried me home when I fell off my bike and slid down Lambeth Lane on the back of my hand and burned all the skin off when I was nine years old.

We would walk to Playland Skating rink together.

He had a white mouse named Herman and a green iguana named Shalom.

I have always wondered if he and one cousin were "kissing cousins" once upon a time???


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose,Me & Bobby McGee, Janis Joplin

My friends thought that he was cute.


He ruined what was supposed to be my first "boy / girl" birthday party cause he had to have an emergency tonsillectomy and Mom wasn't there to make it all work. (She had to stay wth "him" overnight in the hospital). I was really upset.


He had a white Mustang with blue interior. He put "Hang Ten" gas and brake pedals in it.


He gave me my first "rock & roll" album. It was Three Dog Night's Golden Biscuits album.


He would pick me up and let me drive his car even when the tires were bald and the brakes were bad and the speedometer didn't work.
Shhhh, don't tell Mom and Dad.


He caught his apartment on fire because he was repairing his motorcycle in the kitchen and a spark ignited gasoline fumes and then BAM! It made the local news. As I child, I thought this was funny!


I celebrated my High School graduation night at his house.


He taught me and my husband how to play darts.


Happy trails....at one point he used to always say this as we said "Bye, see you later."


He taught my kids how to hunt for sand fleas on the on the beach to use as fish bait.


He used to work for a company called A Smile and he used to bring me sample pairs of jeans. If I remember correctly he told me that some of the styles were never sold here in Atlanta. Nobody had jeans like me.....hard to believe I used to be samlple size. LOL


I used to sneak into his bedroom and listen to albums with him. Mom didn't wnat me to do it cause some fo the songs had bad words.


He was a volenteer firefighter for Marineland, FL.

I don’t have time.

I don’t have time. I am too busy. What do we; or what should we, do with all of our time?

I have been noticing lately how we as people in general use the excuse of I don’t have time to do that or I am to busy to do that…..what’s up with that? This has probably been happening since the fall of man but for some reason I have been noticing it lately and it has begun to irritate me. Not that it matters what I think or anything, it just appears to be another one of my “pet peeves”.

Some of the things I hear frequently are

I don’t have time to clean my house
I don’t have time to exercise.
I don’t have time to go to the movies, shopping, dinner
I don’t have time to read a book
I don’t have time to do the laundry
I don’t have time to go to church
I don’t have time to volunteer

The list can go on and on of what I have heard people say they don’t have enough time to do. It seems to me that the response has become a common excuse not to do something just because we just don’t want to and then feel like we have to have an excuse so we automatically say “I don’t have time”. It’s the same as if someone asks us “How are you today” and we habitually respond with an “I’m fine.” Our world could be crumbling but we just say “I’m fine.” I try not to ask that question of someone unless I do indeed have the time to listen to them in case they want and/or need to talk about their life as it stands at that point. Oh wait a minute. I need to get back on topic here.

We all have the same amount of time in a day. So the response of “I don’t have time” is really not a reason at all. Why can’t we call an apple an apple? I would love for someone to give of these responses instead.

I am a slob and I don’t like to clean, so I don’t.
Or
I would rather pay someone to clean my house.

I am lazy and haven’t been able to get my butt up off of the couch.
Or
I need to exercise? Really?

I would rather do other things than sit in a movie, go shopping or go out to dinner
I prefer to watch movies after they come out on DVD.
Those activities are not in my budget.

I do not enjoy reading.
I find it difficult to read and would rather watch a movie.

I don’t enjoy shopping.
I am not a shopper. I go in to a store with a list and come out after I found what I need.

I really don’t like doing the laundry so I let it pile up until I have nothing left to wear.

I am uncomfortable going to church.
I don’t feel the need to go to church.
I had a bad experience at church, so I don’t go anymore.

I just don’t volunteer.
It’s not how I want to spend my free time.
It has never dawned on me that I should volunteer.

So why don’t we really tell people what we think and feel? One of the reason’s I have experienced is that I really don’t think the person I am talking to care anything about what I have to say. This is another reason I like to give off the wall answers sometimes. It makes people blink and look at you like they just heard a foreign language. They don’t know how to respond when they hear an unexpected comment. I think this may be why some people think I am a bit odd at times. I also just hate conforming all the time.

It would be nice if we all just stopped long enough and took some time to really listen to each other. Unconditional acceptance is a cool concept isn’t it? Completely unreachable; but it's still a cool concept.

We all have the same amount of time available to us each day and we have all the time in the world to devote to things that are important to us. So saying, “I don’t have time.” is really just a way of saying that something is not a high priority in your life. So, why not call it like it is Instead of saying,”I don’t have time.” Just say “That is not a priority for me at this time.” Or even a simple “I don’t want to.”

I am done. Thanks for your time. :-)