Friday, March 14, 2008

Pride vs Self-Esteem

I think that I have an issue in at least one of these areas. It is a toss up...I think perhaps a little of both. Why is it that I can not seem to word things in such a way that people understand what I am trying to communicate. It appears to me that I offend people, or they think I am ignorant or something. Do they think I am being critical? I feel like my ideas are rejected because it doesn't fit into their agenda...but then my ideas pop up somewhere else and it is as if they never heard me speak and they get all the credit and glory. So do I want the credit and glory? Not really but what I would like is to be able to participate at some level; however they don't want you to give your ideas, they just want you to support theirs. That is the only participation they require. Does that mean I have a pride problem? Or is this just an issue of having a "they are out to get me" mentality. I like to think that I have a servant's heart....but do I? I don't like to be ignored. I try to give other people attention and I guess I would like for people to at least pretend to give me some of theirs. So that poses another question, do they perceive me as an "attention hog"? I can go around in circles like this. I am just frustrated....maybe I should just shut up, sit back and do the things that they create and not worry about it. After all you can't get to heaven through works.......(and I am not going to tell you who "they" are).

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